Matt McIrvin's Freaky Alternate Reality

Tonight I am making my mother's beloved specialty, Meat Crust Pie. This is a hallowed family recipe that my mom had to be prodded to write down, and then she had a terrible time translating her spur-of-the-moment arbitrary decisions into anything formalized. But I've lost the recipe, and anyway even if I had it I'd need to remember all the adjustments I used to make on an ad hoc basis back when I made this stuff more regularly. So instead I'm working on vague memories combined with last-minute improvisations based on what is available in the refrigerator, and most of the quantities are just made up off the top of my head.

In other words, it's just like Mom used to make it.

Clarification: I should stress that for purposes of Sammie getting pie, this does not count as pie.